More snakes than legally necessary.
"ARE YOU TIRED OF NOT OWNING A SNAKE?"
"FOR JUST 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $39.99 YOU CAN HAVE TOO MANY SNAKES."
CALL NOW. THE SNAKES ARE OPERATING THE PHONES.
🎁 Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or placing gently into a sibling’s bed*
*Snakes may relocate themselves. Sibling reactions may vary.Judges you silently.
Very long. Very emotional.
Claims to have a PhD. Will not show diploma.
Only active at night. Knows your secrets.
Just Gary. No further information provided.
Lost at sea. Found in terrarium.
Middle management. Hates meetings. Is in a meeting.
Predicts the future. Wrong on purpose.
Warm. Opulent. Knows its worth.
Fashion-forward. Snake-backward.
It’s a snake. It’s already hanging.
For snakes who want to be heard.
Lets guests know a snake lives here.
For remote-working snakes.
Snake will not write in it.
Snake hates it. You love it.
Founded in a strip mall between a vape shop and a mysteriously empty unit, Snakes Plus is the world's most unnecessary snake store. We believe everyone deserves a snake — or at least the opportunity to say "no thank you" to one.
Q: Are snakes good pets?
A: yes. next question. —snake
Q: Do snakes feel love?
A: define feel. define love. —snake
Q: Why does checkout keep failing?
A: checkout works fine for snakes. —snake
Q: Can I return my snake?
A: no. snake has already moved in. —snake
Q: Is it normal that my snake judges me?
A: extremely. —snake
Q: What should I do if my snake escapes?
A: snake has not escaped. snake is exploring. —snake
Q: Who writes these answers?
A: snake. obviously. —snake
“Our snakes are 100% organic, gluten‑free, and emotionally supportive*.”
*Emotionally supportive to themselves.